Wednesday, June 18, 2003

I try to stay away from the ‘dealer/player tip wars’. Why you don’t or do tip is your business. Why I deal? I like the interaction with the players, the action, and the fact that people throw money into my pocket for something that I enjoy doing…great ain’t it?

What’s going on? Your musing…is the bitch in a wine drinking rant or just needs to BLOW UP?

The answer? All of the above. Let’s get right to the heart of the matter. First and foremost, I never…NEVER act like you owe me a tip. I never shrink, whenge, fling, flap, glare or do any stupid trick to make you think you’re supposed to tip me or that I’m expecting a tip. I try to make your playing experience as pleasant as possible, whether it’s your first time or the last day you’ll ever sit at a poker table, when you’re in my game.

Before we continue, one single thought, first and foremost, focused and imprinted on the world’s brain: Las Vegas is a tip industry. Not service, not hustle, not win or lose, but Las Vegas…founded on the basis of a tip. A gratuity. Greasing someone’s palm moves you into favor and first in line…that’s the way it is and always has been. I didn’t make those rules, they’re just there, written in stone, in a nameless cave somewhere.

So on to the rant…I sat down in a $15-$30 Holdem game. The 2s won a pot and threw me $2. ‘Thank you’, shuffle up and deal.

The 2s asked the players next to him what a proper tip was…he had been playing in CA.

Answers: “Some players never tip when they’re stuck.” “Some players tip $5.”

“Some players tip $.50”

“Some players tip $1.”

I looked at him as I dealt the next hand and simply said, “All the players tip me because I beat them up if they don’t.”

I got the appropriate laughter…we were off and running.

Now we back track for a little history. Don B., a $4-$8 Holdem player, has played in our games since the last few years of the Mirage Days, before we all moved to Bellagio. He sent me an email once, asking me if I thought there was a chance we would date…we appeared to have similar interests. Sorry but I have to lay the all cards on the table for this rant. I declined.

He’s stated, many times over the years, that I’m mistake free and the best dealer in the room. When I play in a game he’s in, he specifically tries to beat me. Don’t think I don’t love it because I do and he’s paid me off more than once by trying to run over me.

He tries to jump into any conversation that another player tries to engage me in and even tries to start conversation with me when I’m dealing. Truthfully, I wish he’d just go away.

A few days ago, I dealt to Don and Jarrod (Jarrod has a major attitude for a youngstger and is the subject of a previous post). I was pushing Barbara Jo and something had happened during her down.

About the 2nd hand I dealt, Don, his usual position is the 5s, leaned over to Jarrod in the 8s, and asked him what the exchange was with Barbara.

Jarrod went into the explanation that when he won several $10 pots, it irritated Barbara that he didn’t tip and that when he finally did flip out $1 and ask her to chop, she threw it at him. Hey, I’m not condoning that behavior or totally believing that that’s exactly what happened.

Don said, “If you want to go to management and complain, I will state that I was at the table and saw what happened.”

Christ! The Stone Stiff of the ages talking to Wonder Boy, that defies all the laws of etiquette. WOW! What a combo.

I said, “Do whatever you want, but talk about it away from the table.”

Neither one of them said another word.

Then the magic moment came…I dealt to Don a few nights later. $4-$8 Holdem…he was about the only one I knew in the game. Tourists, enchanted with gambling it up, held the other seats.

He was barricaded in his favorite fortress, the 5s. I pushed him three pots. He stated in an overly loud voice, “Now this is a dealer that’s never tried to hustle a tip out of me…going back to our earlier conversation,” as he threw out $1 and did the ‘chop’ sign on it.

He held the look of a person that just won the Pulitzer Prize for saving the homeless from themselves and not forcing the rest of humanity to look at them in their degenerated state.

Trying not to throw up or look like I wanted to drop kick him off of his chair, I asked, “Now why on Earth would I ever try to hustle you for a tip?”

I really wanted to say, “And look what it’s gotten me! I make $5 bucks a year off of you whether I need it or not.” Yes kids, he’s a total stiff.

He gave me the $.50 and said, “Well some of the other dealers in the room try to.”

I hate this part…I actually had to say ‘thank you’ with a straight face as I locked up the toke. I said, “Tipping is a courtesy, there’s no obligation to tip.”

He replied, “Well, I wish you’d teach your fellow dealers that.”

I countered with, “I will teach my fellow dealers that if you will agree to teach a few players, in this room, a few things.”

The 4s gave me the thumbs up, “Touché…she got you there!”

Don went into something that appeared to be a defense because he ‘never threw cards’ and I agreed…he never has. I finished with, “If you don’t tip, I really don’t give a shit! Stop talking about it and let’s just get into poker.”

That kind of squelched the whole subject and everyone else loosened up.

I have to go back over my thought on this whole thing.

1) If I met someone I was trying to impress and thought about dating, and they worked in a tip related industry, I wouldn’t stiff them. I might be overly crazy and throw them more money.

2) If someone is really good at their job and makes it easy for me to make money by not having to watch them or worry that they might break the game up by being an idiot, I would throw them more money.

3) If I was really trying to impress someone and they weren’t responding, I would just shut up and move on.

Perhaps I’m missing something here…the overview? As it stands, I probably make about $7 more a year off of Don than the other dealers…I figure $10 a year is tops for this guy.

Do I care if he tips or not? No! Do I wish he’d shut up? Yes! Do I ever hope he wins when I deal? No! The bottom line is that I don’t root for anyone to win or lose. But if it came down to heads up with Don and a tipper…

Come on, baby….